Tips for positive assertiveness

What is assertiveness?

Being able to effectively express what you want or need while still respecting the needs of others is what it means to be assertive. An interpersonal skill is a behaviour you can employ to interact and communicate with others effectively. Being assertive is a direct, non-confrontational communication approach. The midway ground between an aggressive style and a passive style is assertiveness. You may also take help from an Online Counselor if you need assistance on positive assertiveness issues.


The benefits of being assertive

A crucial life skill for both your personal and professional life is the capacity to express yourself with assurance. Being assertive has several advantages, such as:

  • Being forceful helps one feel more confident. It’s a huge confidence booster when you learn to advocate for yourself. Your sense of self-worth will increase as you get more at ease with being open and honest with those close to you, whether it be a boss, colleagues, or family member. You’ll get the ability to ask for what you want as a result.
  • A strong leadership quality is assertiveness. In order to properly manage people and run a business, leaders need to be up front, direct, and willing to distribute work. The capacity for assertiveness might put you on the fast track to a leadership position in your working life.
  • Self-assured persons experience less stress. Stress will be brought on by unresolved problems that you’re scared to address. This persistent avoidance of facing your anxieties may be detrimental to your mental and physical health. Being able to manage situations as they come up gives you more mental space for other responsibilities in your life.
  • An excellent communication style is assertiveness. Speaking up when necessary enables you to communicate your position to others. It is a tactic that fosters open, sincere communication.
  • Being assertive aids in obtaining what you require. The status quo derives from remaining silent and passive. Your ability to communicate assertively will help you reach your individual objectives.


10 tips of becoming more assertive

Being assertive is an acquired talent. To be forceful and start living the life you want, use these tips:


  1. Trust in your abilities. You may be unable to express your desires to others if you have low self-esteem. You’ll find it simpler to express your wants if you start to truly value yourself. Being honest with yourself and others might be hindered by worrying about what other people think. Being aggressive is a certain indicator of respect for oneself.
  2. Practice saying “no.” In an effort to please others, people frequently find it difficult to say “no,” even when doing so would cause them inconvenience. Helping others makes individuals feel good, whether it’s doing a coworker’s extra work or watching a friend’s dog. However, it’s critical to understand when living your own life must come before helping someone else. Simply say no if you already have a lot on your plate and are unable to take on more at this time. It’s a liberating experience, and you may offer assistance when it’s more convenient for you.
  3. Begin modestly. Start small if you’re having trouble finding your voice when being aggressive. After picking up your car from the shop, you might still hear rattling, but you’re hesitant to doubt your mechanic’s work out of fear. Make a statement. Start putting yourself first in your daily rituals.
  4. Develop your assertiveness abilities. Prepare your speech in advance. To avoid being taken off guard and losing momentum when the time comes to ask for a raise, for instance, try roleplaying with a partner or friend to outline the various situations. For added assurance before making your actual pitch, you can also prepare what you want to say in writing and practise it beforehand.
  5. Be clear and concise. Leave no room for misunderstanding. Being assertive works because it gets right to the point. Use the pronoun “I” to express how you are feeling to the other person, such as “I feel” or “I think.” This strategy exudes assurance. Starting a sentence with “you” implies that you already know how the other person is feeling and presents a more forceful communication style.
  6. Negative feelings should not be included. Leave all of your bad thoughts about the other party out of your message even if you’re dealing with a challenging issue. Maintain your composure even if the other person grows agitated. Getting defensive or irritated can result in an aggressive reaction rather than an assertive one. Maintaining your course will lessen the impact of a terrible scenario.
  7. Keep your body language in mind. Only a small portion of how you interact with people is through words. Your message is influenced by your posture, tone of voice, and facial expressions. Maintain a neutral expression (practice in front of a mirror if you need to). Make eye contact and stand tall—these are two signs that someone is confident.
  8. Recognize the opposing viewpoint. The capacity to express your needs while also taking into account other people’s wants is a crucial component of assertiveness. Because they have empathy and respect for other people’s thoughts and perspectives, assertive people are successful negotiators. Aggressive people, on the other hand, demand their needs be met without concern for anyone else. Respecting the person you are speaking to will frequently result in a cooperative solution and a situation where everyone wins and gets what they need.
  9. Remain upbeat. Nobody like having unpleasant conversations, so issues go unsolved, causing stress and complicating relationships. Approaching situations that call for assertiveness with good feelings is one method to quit putting off dealing with them and get things done. If you communicate in a positive manner, the other person will frequently relax and respond as you expect.
  10. Defend your position. Don’t give up if you don’t receive what you want the first time you ask. This tactic is known as a broken record in assertiveness training. The person might not react as you had hoped the first time, but it’s possible that they just need some time to think about what you want. Repeat your request until you receive it by going back and forth. You may also take assistance from an expert Online Counselor at TalktoAngel.
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